So You Want To Date A Surfer Girl?

About a month ago, an article entitled “So You Want To Date A Surfer” was making the rounds on social media. In it, a girl talked about what it’s like when you are a non-surfing girl that thinks dating a surfer boy would be cool. It felt only right that the same tips be given to non-surfing guys who are considering asking a wahine out long-term.

These tips – gathered over the last month from conversations with wahines – are by no means hard facts. Some of you will say “No, that’s not me at all” while others will go “Yes, that’s exactly it.” If you think there’s something else we’ve missed out on, add it to the comments section.

Ready? Here we go, in no particular order:
Be prepared that she will be hanging out with tanned, toned guys who are half naked.  And she’s very likely going to be half-naked at the same time. Deal with it.

– She will be sharing a room w these guys sometimes. She won’t be sleeping with them anyway. Just in the same the room. Mostly because it’s economical to split the cost of gas and lodging. Again, deal with it.

– You think she’s cranky when she has her period? Wait til she hasn’t surfed in two months and her tan is fading and her surfer friends are saying things like “You’re so white!” When that happens, then you’ll know cranky.

– If you do decide to learn, set aside your ego and accept that she will be better than you. You’re going to catch up. Hey, you might even get to a point where you outsurf her. Maybe. Who knows? But for sure when you start, she will be paddling circles around you. 

– You’d  better like the beach because that’s where she is going to be spending every weekend as long as there are waves.  Okay, maybe not every single weekend. You might actually find some sort of “every other weekend” sort of compromise. But be ready for a LOT of beach time regardless. 

– If you’re not with her while she’s surfing, don’t expect her to answer your texts for at least a few hours. She’ll be out in the water. With those tanned, toned, half-naked guys we mentioned earlier.

– No morning sex! She’ll be up for dawn patrol long before you wake up. No nooner’s either — if she was up at sunrise, she’ll want to nap after a big lunch so she’s rested for the afternoon session. 

– It will sound like she’s speaking a foreign language when she’s rhapsodizing about surf and swell.  Our advice? Learn the lingo. 

– She’s had to fight for waves, carry her own board, and is, generally, very independent. She won’t say no to chivalry but you can’t expect her to be submissive so don’t try to pull any macho BS with her. Phrases like “but you’re girl” or “but I’m the guy” will not go over well. Trust us. 

– We hope you like your girls brown because it doesn’t matter what skin tone she was born with… at some point in her life she’s turned herself into some shade of brown. And she LIKES it. So don’t give her grief about it. 

– And here comes the double-standard: it is not okay to ogle at her half-naked, tanned and toned surfer girl friends. Or if you’re going to ogle, at least be discreet about it. 

Yours truly,
Kage Gozun


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